I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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