he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
