Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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