Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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