I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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