just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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