how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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