Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
