i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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