We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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