girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
