used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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