You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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