I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
