You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
