Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Randomize
