i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
