I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize