She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
