I can't watch pbs sober anymore
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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