dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
where am i from again
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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