I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
