it was like eating out sand paper
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
