You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
