I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
