Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
