I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
