Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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