does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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