The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
