Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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