I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
