puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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