It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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