Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
