once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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