the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
