If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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