I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
