This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
