Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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