don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
