chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
