Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
