I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
