Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
