Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
