All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Randomize
