D3 body, D1 cock
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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