2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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