I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
