Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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