Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
i think im in europe. pls send help
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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