Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
