Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
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Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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