Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Randomize
