I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I currently don't understand fingers.
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