its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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